What to expect from your first virtual couples counseling session in San Luis Obispo, California
Virtual couples counseling in San Luis Obispo County, California
You’ve scheduled an initial session with a therapist in San Luis Obispo, California for couples counseling, and you may be asking yourself: what comes next? The search for a therapist is a huge step to take toward caring for your relationship, but it is only the first step in an exciting journey! You might be wondering what you and your partner should do or say in the first session, what it will be like to do virtual therapy, and of course- when will you start seeing progress?
What will happen after you decide to schedule?
If you and your partner have had the chance to do a free 15-minute consultation with a provider and are ready to schedule your first couple’s therapy session, the therapist will send you some intake paperwork for the two of you to complete in your client portal. Intake paperwork includes information such as: mental health history, medications, insurance and payment details, and current concerns you’re hoping to address in treatment. Be sure to complete all of the paperwork before the first session so that you can make the best use of your time in session!
What do you need to do to prepare for the first session?
If you are meeting with a therapist over telehealth you want to make sure that:
you’ve competed all necessary paperwork
your technology is working and that both of your faces can easily be seen on screen
that you have a private space where you and your partner can talk openly and with minimal distractions
that you are comfortable (wear cozy clothes, grab a blanket, get a warm drink or have a water bottle handy)
it is especially important with virtual couples therapy that you make time to focus in session and demonstrate to your partner your commitment to working on the relationship... save any other tasks or projects for after the session is completed
think through what relational history might be important for the therapist to know, and details about what you’re hoping to address in session
it is very normal to feel nervous before a first appointment, so if you find it helpful, engage in some self care activities to help calm any jitters you might have
What happens in the first session?
In the first couples therapy session you can expect the therapist to introduce themselves and go over some legal and ethical guidelines. It is required that therapists review some of the information you had covered in your paperwork, such as confidentiality, fees for treatment, etc. The therapist may discuss a bit about their approach to therapy or they may jump right in and ask you and your partner to tell them a little about yourselves and what brought you into treatment. This is your time to talk and to get to know your couples therapist!
Will I have homework?
Depending on what was covered in the first session, the therapist may suggest some resources or activities for you and your partner to try. If you are not interested in completing homework between sessions, let your therapist know! If you find you want more to do between sessions, let them know that as well!
When will I have my next session?
Ideally, it is best to start a therapeutic relationship with weekly appointments. This allows for the couple and therapist to really get to know each other and make progress on concerns. If sessions are too spaced out it can start to feel like we are just starting all over again with a the latest set of conflicts. How much you get out of couples therapy is directly related to how much each partner puts into it. Committing to frequent appointments helps the two of you progress more quickly and feel more satisfied because you can tell that therapy is working!
What if I don’t like what happened in the first session or I am not sure it is a good match?
Couples therapy is very different than individual care! It is common to feel higher emotional intensity in these sessions than you might in individual therapy. When you meet one on one with a therapist you may talk about a relational conflict; in couples counseling it might be happening in the room right then and there. It is hard work! I often recommend trying at least a few sessions with a therapist, even if the first session was slightly uncomfortable. However, it may not be a good fit with the therapist if you felt consistently misunderstood, even when stating your point of view clearly or you just aren’t feeling safe enough to open up honestly. It is important that both you and your partner feel comfortable and safe working with your couples therapist. If you decide it’s time to try someone new you can politely let your therapist know; often they can provide you with a list of other therapists who might better meet your needs.
How long will it take for all of our problems to be resolved?
I admit, this question is a little tongue-in-cheek. Because unfortunately therapy doesn’t lead to a fairy tale ending where everyone lives happily ever after and never has a disagreement again! That is especially unlikely after just one session. However, most of my couples report that the main thing they feel after their first couples therapy session is hope. After that first session, you, your partner, and therapist will begin crafting a plan on how to best address the relational concerns that brought you into therapy. It is common for couples to work with a therapist for anywhere from a few months to a few years, depending on their concerns and motivation to change.
I hope this helps you feel a little more prepared for your first virtual couples therapy session in San Luis Obispo, California! The decision to seek out counseling is never easy, but there is hope for a more connected, fun, and loving relationship for you and your partner.
If you are still searching for the right couples therapist for you, feel free to call or text me at 805-956-8555 to schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation. I am happy to tell you about my services or help you and your partner find a therapist who will be a good fit for your needs. If you are looking for help with medical marriages specifically, you can read more about how I can help here.